My life is puncuated by crap, both literal and figural.
We forgot to put Makena in her crate and she left us "good morning" terds on the floor.
Mike's bowels have been manic, swinging wildly from one extreme to the other. First, he's pooping golf balls - not pleasant for anyone. So I frantically load him with every high-fiber food I can find, only to be faced with explosive results a few hours later - not fun either.
And of course, there's the usual "crap" that clutters our house. It's always changing, but never really goes away. For example, here's a list of what's on the floor within a 5-foot radius of me right now:
- Three Tinkertoy pieces
- Two-foot length of toilet paper (unused)
- Spinning scorpion lollipop holder
- Tony Hawk's Boom Boom Huck Jam skate ramp
- Left shoe
- Beach ball
- Plate stand
- Coon hunting catalog addressed to previous homeowner
- Dry-cleaning hanger cardboard tube
- Mostly empty laundry basket
- Cardboard box labeled "hats & gloves"
I swear to you, this room was picked-up last night.
I am going to have one of my quarterly breakdowns that sends me into a rant about housework. How I am constantly doing it, yet it never seems to get done. It is a gigantic insurmountable force that has been put on this earth to make me crazy. And no one EVER helps me.
These rants make Curtis freeze, wide-eyed and silent, because he knows at this point any movement or sound will surely turn my wrath from "housework" to HIM. He's thinking: if I hold really still, maybe she won't notice me.
Maybe it's time for a little perspective.
I picked up a book I got for Christmas called Professionalizing Motherhood. Not the greatest title, in my opinion. I mean, I want to feel better about my current role, not transform it into some sort of desk job. I actually received another book on motherhood for Christmas called Confessions of a Slacker Mom. Now that's more like it. But I was dissapointed* to find that the author was not a slacker, but merely fed-up with the gluttonous comercialization of childrearing. She suggests giving your kids a paper towel tube to play with instead of watching TV. Now, no self-respecting slacker mom would give up her precious TV, one of her most valuable tools. This woman is obviously mislabeled herself - maybe Thrifty Mom would be better.
I was surprised to find that the "professional" mother new exactly what I was talking about. And, as usual, God knew exactly what I needed. She spoke about how a mother's work is a series of activities that are never really finished (e.g. the regenerating laundry mountain) and how she would bust into tears when her husband would come home from work and ask "what did you do all day?"
Within the first few chapters she gave me some perspective to save my sanity. As a mother, I am working toward the long term goal of preparing my boys to be loving, respectful, godly men. Each task I do, however annoying and mundane, is working toward that end. But I also must also take care of myself. God knows I am not much use to anybody, including myself, if I am so overworked and stressed that I'm a raving bitch that screams "what now?" when asked a question.
So even though this post took me three days to write, it's worth it. It's just another never-finished necessity in creating a home where my family can feel safe and loved and cared for.
*My sister-in-law gave me this book and I do not want to appear ungrateful. She gives the best gifts, and I plan to revisit the book because I'm certain I haven't given it a fair shake.