What Was Mother Goose Thinking?

We were watching Cheers reruns the other night with the kids and we were struck by how many sexual innuendos there were. We didn't remember it being like that, but there is nothing like seeing your enraptured five year old studying Sam Malone's every move to snap things into focus.

It seems to happen a lot, too. I'll be singing a song or reading a story that I've known since childhood and I'll be ambushed by some aspect of it that makes me cringe.  I certainly don't remember the nursery rhyme "Three Blind Mice" as being anything horrible, but you get into it and suddenly the farmer's wife is hacking off the poor blind mice's tails. Or how about "Goldilocks and The Three Bears"? What is the point of that story? As far as I can figure, Goldilocks is just a really annoying selfish bitch who ruins baby bear's day and then gets away with it.

I was reading the boys a story called Hedgie's Surprise by Jan Brett in which Henny the hen gets her freshly laid egg snatched every morning by the little tomten. So far so good... but then Henny sees a goose with her brood and she realizes that the tomten has been stealing AND EATING her babies! Do we really need to hear this? I think we'll shelf this one for awhile; getting the boys to eat their meals is hard enough without turning breakfast into an episode of Fear Factor.