Totally Ridiculous

Big Bavarian.jpgI sat down with King and started watching the cartoon that was on the television. It showed three girls dressed up in Bavarian costumes. What was odd was that one of them was quite over-weight. I was more than a little intrigued, and kept watching, wondering if maybe the creators of this show had actually developed a plus-size heroine. The next scene depicts the large girl rolling down a hallway like a bowling ball, knocking over some bad guys. The scene after that has her wedged in the door of a tram-car. As if that weren't ridiculous enough, one of the skinny girls takes hand lotion from her purse, pours it on her, and she pops out.

Totally Stuck.jpg"King, What IS this?"

He answers, quite matter-of-factly, "Totally Spies."

"Do you want to watch something else?"

"No. I like this."

I really didn't like the idea of him watching and absorbing this crap, but my attempt to get him to change the channel was half-hearted, simply because I was dying to see where the hell they were going with this story line.

It turns out our three heroines are in a cookie factory trying to save the world from an evil cookie maker. The fat spy (named "Clover") keeps slowing them down, because every time she sees a cookie she has to eat it. I notice that the factory workers are huge too and they are being feed cookies while they work. Not only are they grabbing cookies off the production line, but machines are hurling cookies directly into their mouths. Cut to close-up of fat worker's mouth: chomp-chomp-spit-slobber cookie after cookie.

Big Red.jpgThe girls finally escape their fantasy-frau costumes and appear in their regular (I assume) spy outfits, which are made of shiny skin-tight  spandex. As you can imagine, the outfit is not flattering on Clover. It also makes it obvious how unnaturally skinny the other two are.

At this point, I am drop-dead sure this show was created by a man and, as you may have suspected, this is the first and only episode that will feature a plus-size butt-kicking binging spy. In Totally Spies cartoon reality, Clover is just as emaciated as the rest of them. She, along with the factory workers, had gotten fat by eating cookies laced with a highly addictive ass-inflating serum. Thankfully, there is an anecdote. PERFECT!

The final scene shows the girls shopping at the mall. They are back in their "day-clothes" and Clover is back to her "normal" size.

"I'll take this in a large." says Clover.

"What?" The other girls protest, " You said you'd never wear anything but a medium ever again!"

"I've decided it's best just to be happy with who you are."

Never mind that the item she is buying is a HAT! Oh, isn't it great?! Clover learned that it's o.k. to have a big lolly-pop head on top of a stick body. What's really important is that you learn to love your big head for what it is. Way to go, Clover.