Is this love?

Feral Jane, resting two feet away from me when she usually won't come within ten.

Why? Does she love me now? Has she forgiven me for stealing her kittens? For kidnapping her and getting her spade, without her consent?

I think not. She is hungry and I've usually put food out for her by now. Just a little, just enough for her, but not enough for her idiot boyfriend who eats like a drunken steam-shovel operator and squirts his stink all over his "territory" i.e. my house.

What Jane does not know is that the dogs are out of food, too. And the pet food store is closed. So the dogs got HER food.

That was the last of the kitten food, that I was giving to her while she had the kittens (and while I had her trapped and she couldn't pillage garbage cans and rodent communities). That food is gone, and now the question is: do I buy more?

We are at a crossroads, Jane and I. I never wanted this relationship to start. I was forced into it for the kittens sake. And now, I'm not sure I want this relationship to continue. I'm not sure I like where it's going. How healthy can a relationship based on guilt and food-dependance be, really?

But there she sits, looking all peaceful, like a nice cat who loves me.

It's a lie. We both know it.